You held me like my mother made me just for you
Creatures in Heaven by Glass Animals
I remember the first time I listened to this album, I Love You So F***ing Much.
It was 11:58 PM, and I was squirming around in my bed waiting for the songs to populate their page, reading all the comments on past videos while wearing a hearty grin.
As it reached 11:59 PM, I frantically refreshed the page, and almost screamed seeing the album there in all its beauty. Though, I didn’t listen to it, not yet. I couldn’t do so in the headspace that I was in, as I would romanticize each passing second of the forty minute record with the amount of emotion I was carrying.
Instead, I wanted to experience this work when I was calm, relaxed with nothing on my mind. That’s what I did heading into the morning. After freshening up, I took out my phone, pressed play and laid back in my chair. I slowly shut my eyes, and let my ears fill with the instruments and the dreamy voice of Dave Bayley, becoming Lost in the Ocean.
Sharing this story was not due to the love I contained for Glass Animals (sort of), rather a way to describe how we should handle the sensation of love. Do not act on ardor, rather slow down and caress all the meticulous details.
Another instance of this is seen within the film, Past Lives. The characters do not participate in vast romantic gestures, instead faint conversations and slight glances, steadily developing the relationship. The weight that Nora and Hae Sung carried is not one that can be discarded so simply.
One way I love (no pun intended) how those minute details are represented is through poetry. Notice the poem below, how the poet describes all that he notices about a certain woman so elegantly, without rushing the narrative or hindering any specifics about her.
She Walks in Beauty
Lord Byron (George Gordon)
She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that’s best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes;
Thus mellowed to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.
One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impaired the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o’er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express,
How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.
And on that cheek, and o’er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!
On the other hand, something I tend to notice recently is we seem to require short-term pleasure. The time to note such qualities of an individual is not done anymore, and a swift impression is all that is factored into whether such person should be entertained or not. This is known, though the commonness of it is what saddens me.
To put forth time and work to develop a connection is not worth it for people in our hasty society. Most schedules are filled to the brim with all sorts of occupations and pursuits, and connections are a commitment people can’t stuff in. Love is not something set to the side, it needs constant watering, attention, and care. It is a gift to love, to live such a life that you can do so and spent your days on someone that wants you.
That gift is, as all gifts we are given, in demise. Short-term pleasure took over, and it is the simple route. Why work hard for something that may not work out when you can find someone that satisfies your greed for a day? Again, “Why work hard?” I am sure there is no need to spell out the reason, though unfortunately this is what relationships fallen to.
The film, Marked Men: Rule + Shaw presents this well. (Sidebar: Love the setting that the story takes place in, though not a great film) Two people find the other attractive though instead of taking the time to form something, they satisfy that greed, though feelings still linger afterward. Those feelings are guilt, not spending the effort on that person. Forget it though, as someone else comes along and all those feelings fade.
It’s something that I hate
Strangers by Kenya Grace
How everyone’s disposable
We do not commit. Feelings are played with, hearts are broken, and resentment starts to brim.
As we step away from this somber tone, reality is not all bad. Though that behavior seems to be common, the people you pass by day to day are not anything as what I described above.
At the end of the day, do not search, do not lose yourself to gratification. Connection is something that will leave clues for you to notice, lead you on a path without an end in sight, though at the end of it all, you will have someone waiting for you.