Category: Figuring it Out

It’s Ok To Be Somewhat Boring

“The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.”

Dorothy Parker

Reading that title, you may feel slightly confused. Rarely it is stated the word bored with a positive connotation. Most would call you lethargic, nothing in the head with a weak body to accompany it. Though, as I talk with people from all walks of life, students, workers, parents, it seems to be a common theme that living the boring life is actually the calmness many seek.

However, this is something that is not a present issue. A “boring life” is something that is achieved over a period of time, it is not so simple to acquire that lifestyle. Rather, it is more so the issue of not being an “interesting” person, somebody that is unique, having something to share.

Some feel pressured to maintain a conversation with someone with the worry of what that individual will think of them. Others struggle with coming up with a conversation itself, a talking point that is related between them. In the back of your head it continues to murmur, “I am boring”.

Let’s take a step back. Why is this always considered a negative? Should your life always consist of a series of situations or reaching constant milestones? No. If all you do for a week is read a few chapters of a book or run for a half hour, that is fine. Yes, it may seem stale as not much is happening in this week, but you are improving yourself, taking time for yourself, maintaining your time and your life.

The issue is people around us seem to indulge in numerous things throughout their week, and we compare our schedule to them, noticing how poor we are living compared to them. Do not compare yourself to others. This person is on their own path, and so are you. They published a paper? That is incredible! Uplift them and support them, but do not diminish yourself on that matter.

“Comparison is the thief of joy.”

Theodore Roosevelt

Now, you might have noticed the title states the word “somewhat.” Yes, I still stand by what I said about having a stale week, though there is activity happening. This is the difference of being boring, and choosing to be boring. Choosing to be boring is to do nothing for a week, only to find a source of leisure and leeching on it. You are choosing to not do anything, and that is the root of your stale life. Unfortunately, that is a hard truth, and no simple way to sugarcoat that.

That is not meant for you to read and suddenly shut off your phone and get to work on something. Rather, figure out why you classify your life as boring. If it is due to the reasoning I stated above, it might be time to reinvent yourself. Take it slow and dedicate yourself to slow and steady progress.

Moreover, if you want to include more in your life, find a community that speaks to you and activities that resonate with your values and interests. Mold your schedule to include more things you want to do and go to. It might seem difficult as first, as having a simple schedule is such a piece of mind, though these small changes could lead to thoughts of novel ideas, becoming the substitute for the fulfillment you were searching for.

Descriptions and Delusions on Love

You held me like my mother made me just for you

Creatures in Heaven by Glass Animals

I remember the first time I listened to this album, I Love You So F***ing Much.

It was 11:58 PM, and I was squirming around in my bed waiting for the songs to populate their page, reading all the comments on past videos while wearing a hearty grin.

As it reached 11:59 PM, I frantically refreshed the page, and almost screamed seeing the album there in all its beauty. Though, I didn’t listen to it, not yet. I couldn’t do so in the headspace that I was in, as I would romanticize each passing second of the forty minute record with the amount of emotion I was carrying.

Instead, I wanted to experience this work when I was calm, relaxed with nothing on my mind. That’s what I did heading into the morning. After freshening up, I took out my phone, pressed play and laid back in my chair. I slowly shut my eyes, and let my ears fill with the instruments and the dreamy voice of Dave Bayley, becoming Lost in the Ocean.

Sharing this story was not due to the love I contained for Glass Animals (sort of), rather a way to describe how we should handle the sensation of love. Do not act on ardor, rather slow down and caress all the meticulous details.

Another instance of this is seen within the film, Past Lives. The characters do not participate in vast romantic gestures, instead faint conversations and slight glances, steadily developing the relationship. The weight that Nora and Hae Sung carried is not one that can be discarded so simply.

One way I love (no pun intended) how those minute details are represented is through poetry. Notice the poem below, how the poet describes all that he notices about a certain woman so elegantly, without rushing the narrative or hindering any specifics about her.

She Walks in Beauty
Lord Byron (George Gordon)

She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that’s best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes;
Thus mellowed to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.

One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impaired the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o’er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express,
How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.

And on that cheek, and o’er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!

On the other hand, something I tend to notice recently is we seem to require short-term pleasure. The time to note such qualities of an individual is not done anymore, and a swift impression is all that is factored into whether such person should be entertained or not. This is known, though the commonness of it is what saddens me.

To put forth time and work to develop a connection is not worth it for people in our hasty society. Most schedules are filled to the brim with all sorts of occupations and pursuits, and connections are a commitment people can’t stuff in. Love is not something set to the side, it needs constant watering, attention, and care. It is a gift to love, to live such a life that you can do so and spent your days on someone that wants you.

That gift is, as all gifts we are given, in demise. Short-term pleasure took over, and it is the simple route. Why work hard for something that may not work out when you can find someone that satisfies your greed for a day? Again, “Why work hard?” I am sure there is no need to spell out the reason, though unfortunately this is what relationships fallen to.

The film, Marked Men: Rule + Shaw presents this well. (Sidebar: Love the setting that the story takes place in, though not a great film) Two people find the other attractive though instead of taking the time to form something, they satisfy that greed, though feelings still linger afterward. Those feelings are guilt, not spending the effort on that person. Forget it though, as someone else comes along and all those feelings fade.

It’s something that I hate
How everyone’s disposable

Strangers by Kenya Grace

We do not commit. Feelings are played with, hearts are broken, and resentment starts to brim.

As we step away from this somber tone, reality is not all bad. Though that behavior seems to be common, the people you pass by day to day are not anything as what I described above.

At the end of the day, do not search, do not lose yourself to gratification. Connection is something that will leave clues for you to notice, lead you on a path without an end in sight, though at the end of it all, you will have someone waiting for you.

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How to Rediscover Your Curiosity When Learning

“Don’t let schooling interfere with your education.”

Mark Twain

My father used to say this quote. He often said it anytime I couldn’t respond to a question of his on a topic of mathematics. Though I still hear this quote to this day, I’ve slowly began to adopt this idea of thought.

I went through a decade of education. When I look back at it, I realize I did so without a thorough understanding in any topic matter. I learned what I needed to learn in order to graduate and attend higher education. You ask, what’s wrong with this? Nothing is wrong with this, but now sitting in college, I’m torn between what I should study.

I say this as throughout my life, I never had the curiosity to learn further than the surface material. This is common. Approximately 75% of students switch their major at least once. They do so throughout their time in college.

Let me say though, there is nothing negative about this. People discover themselves at different times throughout their life, and for most, it does not happen throughout the teenage years. I write this post to encourage curiosity during these years. If you have passed them, start as soon as you can.

Your aspiration for a certain field or hobby will not last if you lack curiosity. You need to be curious to learn more about it. The reason why aspirations die is curiosity takes work. There is no curiosity without spending hours of research, struggle to understand, and practice, practice, practice.

For instance, the story of Rick Beato resonated with me deeply. It shows how work ties hand in hand with curiosity. This combination led him to the person he is today. While he was a bad student and faced rejection throughout his musical career. However, his resilience allowed him to continue with music. It also helped him escape his comfort zone in the art.

Now, you don’t have to be curious about all that you learn about. Beato himself states he was a bad student, and his real work was all rooted in music. Find what you resonate with. Instead of stating that you are passionate about that field, work to improve in it. Dedicate time to enrich your skills. This will help you ascertain whether it is truly the right path for you.

Unfortunately, it is difficult. Nowadays in my own life, I already am fading in my curiosity in chess. I haven’t been studying the openings and material I promised myself. As I write this, those textbooks collect thicker layers of dust on my desk. I barely participated in any tournaments throughout the first half of this year. Overall, I lost a part of my strength in the game, a part I worked so hard to achieve.

Although, whatever you seem curious about, take pride in it. Share your curiosity with others. It is something meant to be shared. Seeing others work hard at what they are into motivates us to work at what we relish. Take that motivation and run with it, continue to learn, and always continue to stay curious.